One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
