I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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