apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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