He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
