and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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