Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
