Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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