Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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