I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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