She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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