i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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