I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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