What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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