Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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