im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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