i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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