I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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