it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think people are normalizing furries
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
