When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
