I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
