I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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