who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
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