How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
