we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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