He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
