this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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