I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
