I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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