I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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