I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
