Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
