I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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