If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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