How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
