it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My hand turned me down
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
