so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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