Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
