just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
