Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
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Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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