You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
