I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
