I love black thongs
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
