Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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