She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
