Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
