so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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