I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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