You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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