You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
