I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
