Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
