I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize