When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize