He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize