I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
