They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
