I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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