The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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