Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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