I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
