Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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