I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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