Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I FOUND THE LEGS
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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