I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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