Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
