I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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