a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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