I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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