Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
