I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
