fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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